oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
