I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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