I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
