I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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