Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
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these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
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Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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