i just wanna soil my oats bro
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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