Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Ladies don't puke and tell
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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