Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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