Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
