lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I've blown a few things in my day
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
