Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize