4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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