What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
