so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
