Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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