I will die if light touches me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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