Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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