I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
