can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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