I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
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I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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