im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize