Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
