Well douche your snatch and let's go!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
