Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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