Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
