So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize