Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
