In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
