Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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