Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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