Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
