im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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