Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
