Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
