So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
