Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
