champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My dick has a subreddit
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
