I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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