One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.