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• (313): View more from Michigan

  so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...

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• (917): View more from New York City

  i puked in the mini-firdge

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we don't have a mini-fridge?

  (917): View more from New York City

  bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!

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• (845): View more from New York

  If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Intervention is following me on twitter.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  wow.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Alive.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So much puke

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  That jawline could fucking have its way with me.

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