Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize