He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
