i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I still have a little drunk in my system
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
