she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
