Porn is love you can see.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
