Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
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we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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