I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
