do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
zippers are such a cool invention
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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