Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
