TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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