Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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