Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
