What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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