At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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