the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
