Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
