Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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