Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
